Dan,
I'm basically in the same boat except my car is not torn apart. Does your wiring harness that came with the fogs have a relay? Mine does and aparently the older version of the kit did not. This is why things are more complicated this tiem around.
I'm not sure why you are looking for the parking lights for power. The grey/yellow wire from the relay should be tapped into the exisiting grey/yellow wire for the fogs. What I don't know is where to connect the red wire for power. All the directions say is connect it to the battery.
Let me know if you have any success.
Tom