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He actually passed away two weeks ago (April 17) at the young age of 55 of a brain tumor - Glioblastoma. It was only three weeks from diagnosis to death; it was very agressive. I haven't felt comfortable until now to discuss it though - but watch out as the floodgates are about to open:

Me and Dad were incredibly close. Unlike a lot of dads, he was very open with his feelings. Hugs were common, even to neighbors and friends. I used to talk to him almost daily, just stupid little bullshit things, while we were stuck in traffic. He was my devil's advocate when I needed to make a decision, he was a mentor and a guide. I went to Villanova (2hrs from him) and at the drop of a hat he would drive down if I needed anything - his life revolved around me and my brother.

At first I was okay with it. I hated seeing him in the hospital - weak and unable to speak or even open his eyes, so I was glad he was at peace. I really have nothing but good memories (until those last few weeks). I was even okay for a few days after. But it is getting bad. Today I was working on my home theater, and just now that reminded me that the last time I saw him he had come down to help me with something on the theater. That was the last time I got a real hug back from him and it breaks my heart to know that I will never be able to do that again.

And now my heath could be in jeopardy, since I can't sleep at night without these feelings flooding my mind. I end up staying online until 2, 3am when I just physically crash - then I wake up at 6:30am for work.


Thanks for "listening", I really can't call anyone at 3:30am to discuss it so I appreciate the outlet I can get here.
 

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I am so sorry to hear. :(

I admire you;
You have great respect for your father. He must have been VERY proud of you.

My dad is still on this earth and even though we fought the first 15 years of my life, we have made amends over the past 10. I consider my dad my best friend. It is obvious you felt the same way about your dad! I have never been super close to my dad, and NEVER given him a hug. Maybe I should work on that today...........

I wish I could say something that would make the pain go away for you. The memories are painful, but they are how we remember those that we truly love. I think some good sleep is needed too. Fatigue sets in, and compounds everything. :(

Email me if you get the chance, and would like to talk, [email protected] or shoot me a PM.

Thanks for opening my eyes today,
Joe
 

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i know exactly how you feel gig, my dad died of colon cancer but it was totally unexpected, he died in my arms. this was 4 years ago and I was 17. It is always important to focus on the happy memories, be glad you were able to spend those last couple of weeks with dad. and always remember he's not suffering anymore and he's in a better place.

With me, I didn't feel anything for about a month. My family thought there was something wrong with me, they thought I didn't know how to feel. Afterall I was 17, I was the closest to my dad and I had no emotions. I didn't cry, I didn't laugh, I didn't smile. I just lost my best friend and I couldn't do anything about it.... what else could I do but sit there?

after about a month, I broke down and just lost it. I cried all the time, everytime anyone mentioned anything about my dad I just started bawling. But it's been a long 4 years, I've learned to grow with the happy memories, remember all that you did together, all the good times, all the bad times. Talk to people, it makes you stronger. Don't hold it in, you need to let it out or else the pain will eat you alive. Be happy and remember you both will be reunited in the future.

it's been 4 years, i'm turning 22 next week and I felt like i've grown so much. I miss my dad so much, I pray to him everyday. I know he's always with me. Take care of yourself, he doesn't want to see you like this...... I don't know if anything I wrote makes sense but I just want to let you know that I know exactly how you feel and it's hard but you'll get through it...... if you need to talk, you know how to get in touch....

take care....
 
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My heart goes out to you, i know the kind of relationship you had with your dad. I have the same with my aunt, the hardest part of loosing someone has to be missing the things you can't do anymore. But like you have already done cling to your memories your dad, he supported you and was there for to make you strong, strong enough to handle even this situation.

My aunt was taken from me by lung cancer, and as tough a guy as i claim to be. When it came time time for me to see her i was so scared i missed my last opportunity to see her before she passed. She was always there for me never hesistated to open her arms for me, and at the moment before she crossed i was to scared to be there.

I just could not bear to see one of the strongest women i ever knew at the weakest point in her life. I stole from her and myself a very important moment, i was very distressed after her passing but i started spending time thinking of all the good times we had. Soon i couldnt mourn her death so much as celebrate her life. I know she would not have me falling apart so i pulled my self together.

Stay strong for you and him, be the man he would have you be. Honor his memory by enjoying his life, and if you ever feel the need to talk, 917 627 7805

-Steve
 

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Be strong man. I am sorry to hear about the passing of your dad. As everyone here has mentioned before me, remember the good times you had. Those memories will get you through the rough times that lie ahead as you deal with losing him.
 

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Hang in there buddy. My Dad passed away 6 years ago and up to now I terribly miss him, it hurts. He died of liver cancer and I saw him breathe his last at the hospital.

Things happen for a reaso and I am just happy I didnt see him suffer too much. :cry:

Miss you DAD!
 

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My condolences to you & your family.

You are one of the lucky ones that actually had a tight relationship with your dad. I also am one of those lucky individuals. My dad is still alive & healthy. I have no idea how I would cope without him, so I cant even begin to imagine how you are feeling. I admire your strength. Stay strong. My prayers are with you.
 

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I lost my dad about 4 years ago. It was devestating. My deepest regrets and regards go out to you at this time. If the last four years have taught me anything, it's that time DOES heal you. This is your time to grieve, however, and that's what you're supposed to do. Its what you NEED to do. So don't sweat it when you're overcome by emotion, even when you least expect it. It's part of the process.

Again, my best wishes.

Kenny
 

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Best wishes to you and your family...

We lost our grandfather 5 years ago TODAY...I will be at a religious family gathering tonight to mourn...We were all very close to him, so we feel what you're going through... :(
 

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My feelings as well go out to you. I wish I had a stronger relationship with my dad these days but we just don't seem to click much lately.

Cancer is terrible, it has cleaned out my family too.

Jon
 

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Condolences to you and your family gig. It is heartbreaking reading your post and the posts of others that have lost aswell.

Like Medrosje, I am not close to my Dad either. I guess we have never had all that much in common. He did start my love of Volkswagen's though, so I have him to thank for that.

Hang in there gig.
 

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I too know exactly how you feel. My Dad passed away from lung cancer 17 year ago when he was 46. I too talked to him all the time. I still miss his council. It will get easier but you will honor him the rest of your life with that little spot in your heart that will always belong to him.
 

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My deepest condolences go to you and your family. My Dad died in August, and I've been surprised at how devastating it's been for me, as we were not particularly close. So, I'm sure it's that much more painful seeing how close you two were.

Take some comfort in his love for you, and that he didn't have to go through years of pain. Try and take care of yourself, knowing that he'd have wanted you to. Plenty of exercise and rest. and of course, you'll get to cry alot. :cry:

and as Steve said, try to Celebrate what you had, more than you mourn what you've lost.
:thumbup:
 

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Thanks everyone for your words. I think that villain best put into words what I'm thinking right now...
the hardest part of loosing someone has to be missing the things you can't do anymore
I am okay with the fact he is not suffering, and that he never disappointed me, and that I never disappointed him. I know I have all good memories to turn back on, but at this stage it just hurts, because I know that when I go home next weekend for Mother's Day, he won't be there to give me a hug and greet me with one of our little jokes, breaks my heart.

I have never been super close to my dad, and NEVER given him a hug. Maybe I should work on that today...........
Jomo, go for it. I'd give up just about anything to get just one more hug from my dad. When I hugged him last it wasn't supposed to be a goodbye hug. THe last time he gave me a sign was a week before he passed, when he opened his eye a little, and squeezed my hand. He wasn't even able to speak - and for someone who loved to talk and express his love, it must have been worse than Hell.
 

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Gig I am at a loss for words, my father and I are extremely close as well, he got cancer and was able to beat it. I can't imagine how I would deal with your situation. Your father is in a better place now, without his alement. Keep your head up...and don't ever let go of the good times with him. honestly this thread is bringing tears to my eyes. god bless :heart:



Sincerly
Nick
 

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Sorry to hear buddy :( , You'll probably hear this constantly but: remember the good times! That's what keeps the memories alive! My dad died when I was 13 of Mesothelioma(aspestos in the lungs). I nursed him till he passed, but now I can find happy memories right till the end. It's good that you are expressing your feeling, KEEP EXPRESSING THEM! I never did until recently and it will tear you up if you don't get out the mourning! Hang in there, thru every dark night there is light in the morning, give it to the Lord and he will bring you comfort!

God Bless, Ryan
 

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My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. My mother passed away nearly six years ago, and I still miss here. I'll talk to here occasionally to let her know she's still in my thoughts, and that things are ok with her son.

It's awfully hard to write something that doesn't sound trite, but, as Kenny said, it's ok to grieve. In fact, it's absolutely necessary. You had a wonderful relationship with your dad -- one that sounds like a lot more than many get to experience. Allow yourself to grieve; take all the time you need. You'll find that time is the great healer. and you'll always remember him in your heart.
 

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Well, as you can see we all support you.
My dad had several serious strokes, but kept fighting and hanging on for a long time until he passed away back in '97.
You can be thankful that your dad was so good to you and your brother.
Keep the faith.
 

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My condolences go out to you and yours.

Dare I say that he would have wanted you to grief and move on so as to not mark his passing overly with sorrow but as a moving on to a better place where someday the both of you will be together again.

God Bless.
 

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I`m really sorry for you loss, i now that words are just words in time`s like this, but it does get better.
My mother passed away in my arms from colon cancer when i was 25.
It took me months to get my hurt/ feelings out from inside me (Finally a night off from work and a bottle of JD did the trick)
My mother as been gone for nearly 9 years now but i still talk to her and sometimes i feel that she is watching over my son Jacob (2 1/2).
Be strong but most of all be open with your grief..

Tony :heart:
 
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